Some news... that is not so new...

I wanted to post on my infertility blog our update. During our treatment in February I knew if I had to blog another "unsuccessful" attmept, that I would be devastated. I would have blogged it anyway... But I don't have to!

We are now 22 weeks pregnant! On our 48th month we conceived, and it has stuck!!! The ultrasound tech says she is pretty sure its a GIRL! I want to post so much more, but I have actually been writing it down as a possible book of my journey through womanhood, motherhood, and infertility. So I think I will save a lot of it for that for now. We are so excited and are expecting our little one around November 21st, 2010! I read this poem today and it made me so excited to start a new chapter with my Husband, Son, and Daughter!

A Heavenly Conversation

A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow,
but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have
to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."

God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you.
And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the small child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand
when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"

God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words
you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will
teach you how to speak."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach
you how to pray."

"Who will protect me?"

God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach
you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth
could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave
now, please tell me my angel's name."

God said, You will simply call her, "Mom."

A work in progress.

Oh my headaches!! If horrible side effects and symptoms from the shots is a sign that things are going good then things must be going AWESOME! My head is killing me. But I am still positive and up beat about this month. I was talking to Joe about an idea for a funny little picture-book/poem about infertility. I think I would call it "The Infertile Zoo Life" and it would be basically based around this little poem I wrote tonight. Tell me what you think:

When I was a little llama I had a mama.

She taught many things like one two three.
She even explained to me the birds and bees.
But when I got older I feel to my knees,
they told I had birds but no bees and needed some monkees,
in lab coats that hid in the trees.

And then the day came that it began to rain.
I tried with the monkees no matter how insane,
But no matter what I did it was all in vain.
It was then that I learned what it was to have pain.

So we left the monkees and met a Gorilla
She took us as far as a place called Manila.
Where the baby was beautiful no longer vanilla.
But even there we still needed our umbrella.

We found a goat that sat by a tree.
who had a large boat to help us flee.
We hopped right in to travel the great sea.
And after a long journey it was time to be a we.
We had found our little chimpanzee.

Now when we look back at our journey of strife,
we no longer see pain or feel that sharp knife.
We learned so much on this journey through life.

Even to be blessed when a day came our way,
That the master of the storm did not just say maybe...
He had even finally blessed us with a brand new baby.

The story is not just one big drama,
It will continue on the pages of life comma after comma,
All about how this Papa and Mama,
finally found their little llama.


Let me know what you think! It still needs some work. My final thought of the day is this; The secret to having it all, is believing that you do!

:-)

Day One

So here it goes! I have had so much to think about this weekend. I met two new wonderful woman who have struggled with trials recently. One is near and dear to my heart because she has gone on the infertility journey and has PCOS. But she has her miracle baby!!! I got to hold this almost 4 month old baby for hours on my chest and just relax. It was such a release. It is an example to me that when I pray to be given a baby that it is not that I should ask for a baby to be mine. But to ask for the gift of being able to care, teach, and love a baby that is our Heavenly Father's. These babies are not "ours" to claim. They belong to God. We are just trusted with them for a period of time on this earth. I am privileged to have my son to watch over and love. He is a child of God.

The second woman I got the amazing privilege to get to know is a pillar of strength to me. I don't know that she feels that she is a pillar, but I do. She recently lost a baby that she delivered sleeping (not alive) at an almost full term birth. It was known that this would probably happen since earlier on in the pregnancy and she chose to not terminate and place it in the Lord's hands. She and her spouse and daughter are incredible. Even just talking with her brought me peace to know that she is being strong when it is hard, walking though she may be faint, and has not given up. My trials seem so trivial to me now. They are still hard at times, but if others can be so much stronger than me then I can make it!

As for my journey:

I am stronger than I ever have been and my testimony of my Savior is intact and permanent. I am so excited that I started my cycle yesterday. I will go in for my day 3 u/s tomorrow to make sure my ovaries and uterus are ready for this cycle and then begin my month if I get the go ahead. I am excited but moderately so. It is hard to allow myself to think about it too much, but I am excited for our adventure. Life is so interesting, you just never know what is around the corner. Here's hoping though!