A new attitude.

Ok... so here we are 5 months later. I started this blog to vent. And that is what I did. But after I had my big girl tantrums I decided a few things. First, to make the blog public. So I am going to be careful about what personal info I share, but at the same time be very honest. Second, to keep a positive attitude no matter what. Even if the little pink lines never say positive... or even when they do and it doesn't go as planned.

The past 5 months have been life changing! Our move to Washington was so inspired by my Heavenly Father that to deny his existence would be foolish. In Mark 9:23 it says, "Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." I BELIEVE, no I KNOW that we will have more children. And if I never actually give birth to a baby, I know that if I believe in my Heavenly Father and brother Jesus Christ and love my family with all my heart and live a good life I will be blessed. And I say this even though that will be a huge struggle for me.

That being said, I have not lost my little bit of hope to conceive a baby. After 4 years of trying, and so much pain I still have hope! We have such an amazing group of friends forming here. And some in the most unexpected places! In fact I would say that some of our friends are now part of our extended family. I no longer dread finding out that a friend or family member is pregnant, in fact I love it when they are! Thank goodness this isn't everyone's trial because then there wouldn't be ANY babies!

I may get sad again but I know my friends and husband and family with pull me back up onto my feet. I can't tell you how wonderful it feels to trust people again! I still haven't mended some things I would like to but I have hope and faith that I will. And like my quote on my wall says "FAITH makes things possible, not easy."

Thank you Joseph my husband for loving me when I was unlovable. You are my hero.